30.12.03



Happy holidays

Sometimes I feel like I have two lives. There's the independent, self-sufficient me that resides in DC, enjoying work, travel and friends. Then there's the me I turn into when I stay with my parents - the dependent me frantically trying to fulfill obligations and unrealistic expectations. The me plagued by guilt.

Is this normal?

You might ask - what has she done to feel guilty about?

Weeeeellllll... let me count the ways....

1. Abandoning my family to pursue a career.
2. Enjoying my work.
3. Not traveling "home" often enough.
4. Not spending enough time with my grandparents.
5. Spending too much time with my grandparents.
6. Missing the opportunity to visit old friends.
7. Visiting with old friends and not spending that time with family.
8. Spending too much money on presents to assuage my feelings of guilt.
9. Not meeting their expectations.
10. Ignoring their expectations.
11. Resenting that I always travel to see them but they never travel to see me.
12. Voicing the unthinkable - I will never, ever return to the "homeland."


That just about covers it.

I had a great time in Massachusetts. I met the newest addition to the family.... my new baby cousin Marissa who is the cutest baby alive. I managed to visit and hang out with 9 of my 21 cousins. I spent quality time with my brother and the folks. I bought my bridesmaid dress. AND hung out with friends.

Was Santa good to you? How was your holiday?