Disturbing Realizations


Over the past few months, my dearest friends have up and moved away. In the 8 years I’ve lived in the District, I’ve hosted many going away parties for people only to welcome them back a few years later. But never a best friend….


Disturbing Realization #1 – My social life revolved around the whims of three darling, but lackadaisical barflies.

It was a sad, sad day when I absorbed the fact that my *partner in crime* was gone. After work rant sessions weren’t the same without her. I was Norm without Cliff, peanut butter without jelly. The diatribes of those left behind weren't entertaining anymore. And although they are appreciated, they are not loved and lack a certain curiosity…


My hand trembled as I held my cell phone, scrolling through names and numbers of Washingtonians I hadn’t spoken to in months, if not years.


Disturbing Realization #2 – The day you turn 25, time accelerates by a rate of 50%. Once you pass the 30-year threshold, that rate increases to 75%.

If you’re inclined to have brunch with Jack and Jill, make plans TODAY! Before you know it – 18 months will have past since your last get together, making future contact more than a little awkward.


Disturbing Realization #3 – I am a fickle person.

A vague recollection - a few years ago I found myself exhausted, poor, and bored.


It all started off with *poor* - the excuses… I’d blow off friends and beg off plans because I found I couldn’t afford to go out for drinks every night, or to the theater four times a month, or continue hosting dinner parties, or whatever.


And so my schedule slowed down, allowing me to catch up on sleep and *me time* and concentrate on my career. I focused on photography and writing. I fretted over the quality of my relationships instead of the quantity.


Disturbing Realization #4 – You can never have too many friends.

So I learned too late that I had been blessed with diverse and interesting relationships. And I voluntarily let these individuals fade into the back story of who I am.


While I was searching for links, I stumbled onto some of my old friends online. Reading about their lives, I felt like I was intruding (which is ridiculous because the info is on the world wide web for all to read). And a melancholy washed over me as I learned of all that I had missed and was missing.


Because I was supremely lazy.


Disturbing Realization #5 – You’ve got to play nice if you want kids to share the sandbox with you.

Not that I regret the years I spent with J, K and P. I was privileged to connect with these people – individuals who truly see me as I am. How many people take off their masks, peal back the bravado and allow you to know them? How many people have you shown yourself to?


And in truth, I’ve been spoiled – having spent so much time in a realm where you call a spade a spade - and am having difficulty with the steps to the dance of social niceties.


So – how much of a faux pas is it to call someone (a lot of someones) you haven’t seen in two years to catch up over coffee or brunch or lunch?